7:55 AM and I had _almost_ slept through the night when the phone rang. I failed to get it or even locate it on time. Then I remembered: It was delivery day for the new flooring for the basement apartment. That was almost certainly the delivery driver’s “courtesy call” meaning he could be here in minutes. . Panic. I tried to orient myself towards the garage, but couldn’t. I was still meds+ 1/2 hour away from being able to turn at will. Then, instinctively, I kicked my shoes off and went on my way. As I had done a thousand times before. Whoa! Does anyone else ditch the halting component (at least temporarily) by taking their shoes off? Maybe something to add to the “Tips and Tricks” section of your Parkinson’s owners manual
I cry too easily, I can’t read anything aloud, with even a hint of sadness 0r stress or I start to cry and then I can’t talk… I am a silent cryer. When I attend a reception line at weddings, I cry. When we would watch a tv show as a family, the children delighted in catching me crying over silly things, and reminded me that it wasn’t real. I told them my bladder was simply too close to my tear ducts. I have never been depressed. I am the eternal optomist.
I appreciated the sentiments expressed by SilentEchoes in a forum I follow: She shared…..
“Pathologic tearfulness (emotional incontinence) is a disorder of emotional expression rather than a primary disturbance of feelings.”
“It’s not you – it’s your brain injury. I cry easy – too easy. I often lose credibility with the doctor when it happens to me. The imbalance of power in the exam room is very real.”
“A neurologist told me that the fact I was crying in his office was evidence of mental illness. When we left my husband said, we’re never going back to that a$$h*le. When you understand what is going on in your brain, you’re better equipped to advocate for yourself. This is much harder to do in the early phase when you’re baffled by the weird stuff you’re experiencing.”
“Gaslighting and psychological abuse is never okay; and especially not in the context of the medical setting.”
“Emotional incontinence is not associated with depression, impulsiveness, memory impairment, or executive dysfunction.”
“Pathologic tearfulness is not a manifestation of psychiatric illness, it reflects abnormalities in brain networks that control emotion regulation beyond the hippocampus. The condition may be present in other neurologic disorders, this article provides novel insights into the neural basis of affective control and its dysfunction in disease.”
Sometimes I just like to travel all over the world. I darken the room, turn off the phone, and put on the Disney channel and with the help of National Geographic and the Disney documentaries I am gone. Did not even need a plane.
On Septrmber 26th I posted : ” After the ladies shared their experience with UTI’s… Something I recently completed receiving a round of antibiotics for… Jane said, The doctor said the best way to quit having the problem was to get a good Bidet. One that doesnt have plastic valves.. make sure the hardware is metal and it has a heater for the water. The one they got also has a nightlight built into it.”
A couple of my daughters pooled resources and gave me a Bidet for my birthday. I have been used to taking care of business and moving on… so I was dismayed to realize the air drying cycle even with a heater required an additional four minutes of sitting. Then I discovered it is the perfect time for me to go through the routine of hand exercises….. multiple times a day. With the reward of an improvement in my hand writing… plus no more UTIs.
I see clearly again what has me leaping onward and upward each day! When my heart is fully engaged in living fully no matter what, I find that I am in the midst of my BEST DAY.
It is what I bring to each experience. For me, being unstoppable is mostly a blessing. Pushing through and being aware of when I need to hit the pause button is a lesson of self-care still being learned.
So, on I go into each day knowing it is my BEST DAY
Though inactivity is not the enemy as much as not having my heart fully engaged in whatever I am doing. Perhaps this is where mindfulness comes into play. For with a grateful heart, I can be mindful of my blessings which are ever present no matter how I am feeling physically or emotionally.
The lesson here, for me, is to try and remember how I feel when my heart is fully engaged in whatever I am doing. Now, I know again that this is the magic key to living my BEST DAY, living from my fully engaged heart.