Following

To any of my followers who are caregivers dealing with a PwP plus dementia
I’d like to suggest a blog by a caregiver who provides such positive insights and suggestions to help a caregiver to cope he goes by AdjunctWizard
I just wanted to share an example of his writing :follow him.

Cheryl will start to tell a story about an incident that occurred earlier to me as though I am someone else. In the story she will refer to me in the third person as “your dad.” I think that she thinks I am one of our children but I could merely be a nice someone with her because sometimes she refers to me as “Paul.”
I used to resist this a bit and point out that I was me. Lately I quit doing that. I quit doing it because it aids me in finding where she is in her head and it serves no useful purpose other than to make me right and her wrong.
Typically it is a late afternoon discussion as we head somewhere for dinner. In the car she will start with, ” you know your dad and I …” After she gets her thought out I can respond with, “No kidding, I didn’t know that” or some other suitably benign response. If there is more to the story she will go on.
There is so much to learn on this road of Parkinson. If you have not tried it, take a deep breath, enjoy the ride, the scenery and the stories along the way. You cannot be sure of the weather, road conditions or the vistas ahead. Be one with the journey.

‘Go to https://adjunctwizard.com/2022/05/11/more-about-dementia To see this offering by an eldercare organization.

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livingwithdementiablog wordpress attributde to Norman McNamara)

Why don’t you like me?

The title of this blog post is the name of the poem posted in a discussion group. Zella wrote earlier this week… “I thought my husbands poem might be suitable for Parkinson’s Awareness Day!”

To which LAJ responded… “I thought it was going to about a caregiver who thought their husband didn’t like them anymore, which is what it felt like before I knew what was happening due to the frozen face that seemed to glare at me all the time😟”

WHY DON’T YOU LIKE ME?

“When did it start?” the doctor said “The hate campaign that’s in your head”

It started out with a little thing A parcel neatly tied with string

I couldn’t get the knot undone It really wasn’t too much

The problem very quickly spread A champagne cork encased in lead

Just pull the corner, plastic tag It’s just like opening up a bag

But heat-Sealed cartons won’t comply They tear or shred, I wonder why?

They should open up for me Not stay tight shut. It’s misery

It cooks in minutes on the pack But opening it, I’ve lost the knack

It doesn’t work I can’t get in, This thing is going in the bin.

I’ve stabbed it with a table fork Tempers rise, I cannot talk.

Have all these packs developed hate For me no meals, note the date

But all my efforts are in vain Four broken nails what a pain.

I’ve tried with other simple things 10 pound note develops wings

It floats and flutters then it sighs. I’m out I’m out it loudly cries

It won’t go back without some force All my notes have changed their course

Why do all things hate me so? Why won’t they just go with the flow

Is it old age that treats me thus I can’t go on I’ll make a fuss

Coordination is the key Its making such a fool of me

Filing papers opening mail all tasks that I can fail

It was my mother that I told You take too long, it’s cause you’re old

Parkinson’s is such a sod For my old back another rod

I’d change the duvet if I could My fingers seem to change to wood

The pillowcase will not comply It really makes me want to cry

Zips and buttons stubbornly Are never like they used to be

Sometimes it really makes me laugh I seem not whole I’m cut in half

The half that works has disappeared The other half behaves quite weird.

It moves and shakes all on its own It will not do the things It’s shown

My life is turning into farce And Parkinson’s can kiss my arse

Written by…. John Smith

Alternative inspiration

A caregiver’s blog led me to another Caregiver’s blog when he wrote: Whenever I am looking for alternative inspiration I read this blog.

https://parkinsonscaregivernet.wordpress.com/

Here are a couple excerpts from some of her entries.

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Less nagging – yes, I used the word nagging. Reminding. Warning (“don’t put your cup so close to the edge of the table”) Advising (“you need to use your walker”) Mentioning, emphasizing, etc. (Yes, I used the thesaurus!) Our loved ones will begin to tune us out when we talk too much. How about this – let’s talk less and do more. We can always walk over and move the cup away from the edge, and we can take the walker and put it in their hands without even saying a word. It may mean we have to DO more, but we can do it with a smile that promotes peace.

With decreasing cognition comes the loss of ability to reason, so we should not be surprised that our loved one is less able to cope with anxiety and frustration. That knowledge helps us understand the need to keep them from certain situations where those things might occur. We do this out of our love for them and self-preservation!