Month: April 2022

Why don’t you like me?

The title of this blog post is the name of the poem posted in a discussion group. Zella wrote earlier this week… “I thought my husbands poem might be suitable for Parkinson’s Awareness Day!”

To which LAJ responded… “I thought it was going to about a caregiver who thought their husband didn’t like them anymore, which is what it felt like before I knew what was happening due to the frozen face that seemed to glare at me all the time😟”

WHY DON’T YOU LIKE ME?

“When did it start?” the doctor said “The hate campaign that’s in your head”

It started out with a little thing A parcel neatly tied with string

I couldn’t get the knot undone It really wasn’t too much

The problem very quickly spread A champagne cork encased in lead

Just pull the corner, plastic tag It’s just like opening up a bag

But heat-Sealed cartons won’t comply They tear or shred, I wonder why?

They should open up for me Not stay tight shut. It’s misery

It cooks in minutes on the pack But opening it, I’ve lost the knack

It doesn’t work I can’t get in, This thing is going in the bin.

I’ve stabbed it with a table fork Tempers rise, I cannot talk.

Have all these packs developed hate For me no meals, note the date

But all my efforts are in vain Four broken nails what a pain.

I’ve tried with other simple things 10 pound note develops wings

It floats and flutters then it sighs. I’m out I’m out it loudly cries

It won’t go back without some force All my notes have changed their course

Why do all things hate me so? Why won’t they just go with the flow

Is it old age that treats me thus I can’t go on I’ll make a fuss

Coordination is the key Its making such a fool of me

Filing papers opening mail all tasks that I can fail

It was my mother that I told You take too long, it’s cause you’re old

Parkinson’s is such a sod For my old back another rod

I’d change the duvet if I could My fingers seem to change to wood

The pillowcase will not comply It really makes me want to cry

Zips and buttons stubbornly Are never like they used to be

Sometimes it really makes me laugh I seem not whole I’m cut in half

The half that works has disappeared The other half behaves quite weird.

It moves and shakes all on its own It will not do the things It’s shown

My life is turning into farce And Parkinson’s can kiss my arse

Written by…. John Smith

Alternative inspiration

A caregiver’s blog led me to another Caregiver’s blog when he wrote: Whenever I am looking for alternative inspiration I read this blog.

https://parkinsonscaregivernet.wordpress.com/

Here are a couple excerpts from some of her entries.

……………………………………………………….

Less nagging – yes, I used the word nagging. Reminding. Warning (“don’t put your cup so close to the edge of the table”) Advising (“you need to use your walker”) Mentioning, emphasizing, etc. (Yes, I used the thesaurus!) Our loved ones will begin to tune us out when we talk too much. How about this – let’s talk less and do more. We can always walk over and move the cup away from the edge, and we can take the walker and put it in their hands without even saying a word. It may mean we have to DO more, but we can do it with a smile that promotes peace.

With decreasing cognition comes the loss of ability to reason, so we should not be surprised that our loved one is less able to cope with anxiety and frustration. That knowledge helps us understand the need to keep them from certain situations where those things might occur. We do this out of our love for them and self-preservation!

Not for Everyone

A sweet person on a group chat asked a question: “How do you make the transition to a nursing home?

I personally don’t think I need to worry about a nursing home to the end of my life, but things do happen. My mother promised her mother she would never put her into a nursing home… But after my mother had a disabling stroke, and she was total care for my father, he had no choice but to put his mother-in-law, Lola into a home. It was the best thing that could have happened, for Lola. She met other ladies she had things incommon with. they would sit together and knit, they watched the same soap operas. She was as happy as a duck in a puddle.

So, with that knowledge…I wanted to share some thoughts gleaned from the chat: and advice that I have put in bold.

At some point your relatives may want to settle you into a nursing home. Here are some of my ideas based on shared experiences. Can you think of more ideas?
What are the advantages of moving into a nursing home?
1. You won’t have to cook your own meals any more. Granted, institutional food is not as healthy or natural as what you might fix for yourself, but normally the meals & snacks are created by professional dietician and are balanced & varied.
2. You won’t have to clean house.
3. You won’t have to do laundry.
4. You will have physical therapy available.
5. You will have activities available.
6. You won’t have to remember when to take your meds.
This may seem like not worth the price of giving up your freedom, but in many ways it will give you more freedom to write, color, listen to music, get on the internet, look out the window, and be yourself.
Before you go, be sure to pack your activities
Additionally, be sure to mark your name on everything clearly with a permanent or laundry marker. Get a silver or gold marker to mark black things. Carve your name in some things with a knife tip, engraving tool or drimel, before you mark it; cellphone, chargers, laptop.
1. Your cellphone & charger.
2. Your laptop. (Check to make sure you will have internet access.)
3. Your coloring books & colors.
4. Your music & something to play it on – headphones or earbuds are best.
5. Address &/or phone books. If you have time, program them into the contacts in your smart phone or take a picture & save it on your laptop. Be sure to save it on Cloud or Google Drive so you will still have it if something happens to your device.
6. A warm coat, hat, muffler (scarf) & gloves in case you get to (or need to) go out in colder weather.
7. Lighter outer wear including a raincoat & rain hat for cool but not cold weather.
8. A week’s worth of warm clothes, spring or fall clothes, and summer clothes.
9. PJ’s or nightgown 3 or 3 & bathrobe & slippers – 2 each.
10. A good grabber for reaching things.
11. Paper & pens & pencils & pencil sharpener.
12. A small safe, hopefully with a setable combination lock, not a key. Set the combination to a number you can easily remember.
Things you will Not need:
1. Furniture
2. Knick knacks
These may be hard for you to leave someday. Begin to eliminate what you can,. It helps to have pictures of favorite items. It also helps to bequeath them to a descendant who will value them. If not, sell them on Craig’s list & at least you will have the money for them.
Speaking of money, nursing homes are expensive. They often take the money from the sale of your home or property, so put the property in a relative’s name first and set up a bank account with a relative that does not have your name on it.
Pets – many nursing homes will allow 1 pet if you feed it and take care of letting it out to do its job yourself.