I shared the YouTube video, with a fellow participant in the clinical trial, where a lady cheerfully proclaims she has her life back after faithfully doing Qigong for three hours a day. She indicates the decision to put in the time was a no brainer. Should she choose to remain on the couch for twenty hours a day, taking two medications and knowing the progressive degeneration would continue… Or, commit to three hours of each day, with hope.

My friend seemed interested when we viewed the YouTube interview where she proclaimed her success. But I was saddened with my friends attitude yesterday. He feared her claims must be generated out of some other motive… and were just that. unfounded claims. Said he: “She offered no evidence to substantiate her claims. How are we to know if she really was previously on medication? Or that she was previously so impaired as she stated?” Challenging her creditability, he continued. “I’m not buying it.”

I, frankly, was bothered by his attitude. Although he has personally experienced a reversal of numerous symptoms during this clinical trial, he strives to be realistic in his expectations for his future. In less than a week, he will no longer have access to the trial medication. With the FDA guidelines, and requirements… “It will be too late” for him,…once it is made available to the public. So, my friend prepares for the worst. He expects his symptoms to return and for the disease to continue to progress, depriving him of his mobility. Thus, it has been arranged. A chair lift has been ordered, to be installed in his home this next week, in anticipation of a return to his former (pre-trial self) and a downward spiral.

This morning, I challenged his thinking. Rather than question [FEAR] her motives or success, why not give it a try? Document your current status, and experiment on the process for yourself. What do you have to lose?

My friend nodded and indicated he might reconsider and give it a try. Thinking of his self sabotaging gave me cause to include a quote I saved: [blame it on my Parkinson’s] I failed to document who to give credit to.

“A fear is really just an erroneous belief. If we didn’t believe something to be true, we would have no fear. If we didn’t believe the lion was about to devour us, we wouldn’t be afraid. If we didn’t believe that failure was bad, even humiliating, we likely wouldn’t be afraid of failure. Sometimes, we are aware of our fears and we may even understand why we are afraid. But quite often, we are completely unaware of them or how they are sabotaging our best intentions.”

Author: suerosier

In May of 2018, I was diagnosed with Parkinson's. After researching, I believe the symptoms began to manifest themselves years prior to last year. The purpose for my blog is to share what I have learned (with an index) to save others time as they seek for answers about, symptoms, therapies [and alternative things to try], tools I use, Parkinsonisms, recipes, strategies, clinical studies, words of encouragement or just enjoy the photos or humor.

4 thoughts on “Sabotaging”

  1. Hi Sue….I hope the study is going well for you. This was a good commentary and so true. It is so easy for any of us to sabotage ourselves in any number of ways. It is heartbreaking that the FDA rules keep you from having access to the new medications after the trial study when they appear to be working for those who are on them during the trial. But there is always hope. We miss you! …….Susan


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